Ellie's Diary: The good and the bad

[shibarikitten]

Seems I've already broken my promise to journal more frequently, but I think that things will finally start to improve and be less stressful, and I'm determined to do this. And I can already tell that Mark and Lu, with all the help they'll be giving, are going to help make it happen. Mark, I think, is going to be great company during the day and teaching Lu how to groom the horses, and even ride them if he's going to be up for it, is going to be invigorating for both me and Mike. I do need to keep an eye out for a third person so Mark isn't too taxed with all of this, and that way he can have a day or two off every week so he has some time to himself. And I need to check into private health insurance plans to see what we could cover for him, though Mike might prefer to research that himself.

As far as the bad... well, I think I'm going to avoid reading or watching the news for a few days. What I saw on tonight's news makes me want to hug Mike so tight, and there's not a moment that I'm not incredibly thankful that he's alive and with me. But I don't want to upset him either, and he'll know that something is wrong if I start clinging to him and crying like I had when I first saw him in the hospital. Right now, he just doesn't need the stress, and I don't want him worrying about me either.

I hope he's happy here... there's nothing I wouldn't do for him, and if he needs something I can't give him anymore, well, it's just how things are now, and I have to respect that. Wow, do I need sleep or what? I... I don't know what I'm even talking about there.

Until tomorrow, I hope.